I Ride My Own White Horse ...

My tribute to Raymond Rocha

Every year on 9/11 I take a moment to remember Raymond Rocha who died during the attacks on the World Trade Center.  Last year I had the opportunity to visit the 9/11 Memorial and see his name engraved for all to see and remember.  To reflect on that day that changed us all forever.

Ray was lost in the World Trade Center as he started his day at work for Cantor Fitzgerald.  I've read the stories of his life, the comments from his community and felt the loss of family and friends.  He was the All America kid!  Ray was a 1990 graduate of Melrose High School; an honor student, an athlete and a good friend.

He was the youngest of 5 children and helped out around the home from an early age due to his mother's vision loss.   He was loved by all who knew him.   So loved that he was invited to 28 weddings in just 3 years.    Although only 29 when he was killed, his life was full.

Rocha played football in high school and at Brown University before moving to New York City. His number is retired at the Melrose High football field, and a replica of his jersey was placed in a wall at the middle school. Rocha wore number 17. 

Rocha accomplished much in his too-brief life. After excelling at Melrose High, he stood out at Brown University academically and athletically, and eventually took a job with prestigious financial firm Cantor Fitzgerald as a bond trader, working on the 105th floor of the World Trade Center’s North Tower.

 

 

Above all Ray was a friend ... He once told his friend, Andrea:  "our lives were shaped by each other, through thick and thin--we will always be there for each other, friend."

 

 

 

Rocha memorial scholarships

Those who wish may send donations in Ray Rocha's memory to either of the two scholarship funds:

The Ray Rocha Memorial Scholarship Fund, c/o Friends of Melrose Football, P.O. Box 1461, Melrose, MA 02176; or The Ray Rocha Scholarship Fund, c/o Melrose High School, 360 Lynn Fells Parkway, Melrose, MA 02176.

To particpate in Project 2,996 and honor someone lost go to:  http://project2996.wordpress.com/

I made a difference

A few months back I was asked to sit on a patient advisory council for our local cancer center; the center where I received my treatments nearly three years ago.  While my outcome was highly favorable, there are many things about the experience that I would like to have changed.  They could have been different!

The first experience was the way in which I was told I had cancer.  For me that story starts while driving on a beautiful sunny summer morning.  I answered my phone without any clue that the call would change my life forever.  On the other end was a receptionist doing her job, confirming my upcoming doctor’s appointment.  The only problem was that I had no appointment and I didn't know the doctor, at least not yet.  After many unsuccessful attempts to get information from her, the only information that I did get was that I had an appointment with an OB/GYN oncologist as a referral from my regular physician.  I had cancer.

Now this is not the optimal way to receive such news.  It was unprofessional, it was inappropriate.  It lacked compassion or empathy for me as a human being.  I knew from that moment forward that I would work to make a difference.  That I would work to change this policy at our hospital.

Tonight I found out that this will now be the case!  As a result of my story and the stories of other cancer survivors on our committee, the hospital will be implementing a new policy using clinical staff to verify and follow up on oncology referrals.  While the news may still come by phone, at least it will come from someone who understands the implications.  The news will be delivered by someone who has been trained to handle the situation in a professional and caring manner, not just as a matter-of-fact routine appointment confirmation.  My story made a difference.

 

Impatience ... Life after Cancer

It's strange how going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment changes you.  Sometimes for the better, sometimes not so much.  One of my biggest challenges now is to find patience, to slow down and wait. To trust that in time what I want to accomplish will happen.  From talking with my fellow cancer sisters this problem is not all that uncommon.  The feeling that you have to get things done now as tomorrow everthing could change.  Tommorow you could be told that the cancer has returned and life as you know it will be again be threatened.  

While none of us know what will happen tomorrow, some of us are far more sensitive to the fact that it may not come at all.  

Hopefully the further I get from that dreaded day in which my world turned upside down, the easier it will become for me to just relax.

 

 

Wire Bridge

Just hanging out on the wire bridge

Wish I were here